Unexpected Upheaval

The last week has been somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster! As most of you know, last Thursday the 20th at 3:40 AM I woke up to my water breaking. Since I was only at 31 and 2/7 weeks (out of 40) it was obviously much too early for baby to be thinking about making his debut into the world. I was able to shower quickly and pack just a few things before we rushed to the hospital to meet our midwife. She had let us know that Bozeman does not have a NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and therefore I would need to be flown to either Great Falls, Billings or Missoula because the hospitals in those cities would be equipped to handle preemie babies. Of course we chose Great Falls since my mom, stepfather and grandma live there.

Upon arriving at the hospital (thankfully our midwife let them know we were coming, explained everything to them and transferred my chart) I was hooked up to all sorts of drugs to keep me from going into labor. My blood pressure was running a bit high, but honestly I would like to see anyone keep a normal blood pressure while shaking from the after-effects of adrenaline. I received a steroid shot in the bum to help jump-start the baby's lung development. We were told that if I could stay pregnant at least long enough to get the second shot the next morning it would be preferable for his lungs, and even better if we could make it 72 hours to let it really get in there and get working. The steroid shots aren't a guarantee, and apparently for some reason they are sometimes less effective in boy babies but we're hoping it gave his body a little wake-up call that he might be coming out sooner than expected.

They put a catheter in (UGH) and after a couple hours, the flight team from Great Falls arrived and Nic headed to Great Falls on his own in our car. He couldn't ride with me in the helicopter anyway (too tiny) but he knew it would be better for him to have transportation. I was transferred to a gurney, strapped to it and loaded into the helicopter. It really wasn't a fun flight. I don't get motion sickness, but it was incredibly windy and we were getting buffeted all over the place. It was also really really loud and they didn't have extra headphones so I arrived in Great Falls with a pretty bad headache.

We got to Great Falls around 11:00AM, and they brought me to the room I've been in for the last week. I was still hooked up to about 4 bags of random stuff through the IV, I was getting shots every four hours in the backs of my arms (apparently it works better in fatty tissue but I was feeling bitter that I had already had two separate IV's and they couldn't just stick it in that.) Apparently in the helicopter I had fallen into a labor pattern (I wasn't feeling it but when I arrived and got on the monitors the doctor was concerned) so they put a stop to that with more meds. Nic arrived and we got an ultrasound to check to see how much fluid was left and to see how big baby was size-wise. They estimated that he was about 3 pounds, 8 ounces.

After that we couldn't do much but wait. One of the biggest worries after the bag of waters breaks is that there will be an infection that will compromise either me or the baby. I wasn't feeling all that great from being bombarded with medications and antibiotics, but the whole time baby's heartbeat has been really strong and he hasn't shown signs of distress. On Saturday they took out the catheter and let me take a shower. Around that time I started puffing up really badly, my blood pressure kept rising and my organ systems were apparently starting to get involved. I peaked at 175/107 and our doctor, Dr. Key, ordered more labs to see how quickly these problems were progressing. I think they took 10 vials of blood that day. We knew that if things didn't look good it was possible that I would be getting a c-section that evening or more possibly the next morning because he didn't want to stress my body more by inducing me and allowing my body to go through a vaginal delivery.

But all of a sudden my blood pressure started to come down. In less than a day it was 110/63. My labs didn't really look a lot better but they weren't getting worse either. The puffiness started subsiding. There are no signs of infection. And now we've made it past 32 weeks (Tuesday.) I'm hoping that this will continue and he'll stay inside awhile longer, at least to give his lungs some extra time. We toured the NICU and while it's nice to know he will be in good hands, it broke my heart to see all those teeny tiny babies. We had another ultrasound yesterday that showed an improvement in the amount of fluid (it is constantly being replenished and I'm not leaking as much) and it almost looks like the little bit that I was dilated has undone itself.

Today I feel kind of tired and out of it, but I think that's partly due to me being sad that Nic is back in Bozeman. He was able to stay with me until yesterday afternoon, but we definitely need the money so he had to go back to work. My blood pressure was just 118/72 and Dr. Key just let me know that my labs look good. So I'm thankful for another day of waiting.

It is sometimes hard to come to grips with changes in plans. Originally we had wanted a natural birth with limited interventions and so that is the path that we chose for us and the baby. But obviously at this point the baby's health is the most important, and these aren't normal circumstances. I'm hoping that he won't be born at least for a couple more weeks, that I can hold on and give him some more time that he needs to mature. I'm scared that I won't be able to hold him and his tininess and fragility terrify me. I pray that we will no have bonding problems, I hope that eventually we will be able to breastfeed somewhat normally. I'm thankful we are at a facility that will be able to handle whatever problems he may have and that there's really not a question of his survivability at this point, it's just a question of how much help he will need once he comes out. As I type this he's bumping all over the place and kicking the crap out of the monitor on my tummy, so I guess I feel pretty confident he will have the strength to pull through whatever he has to deal with. I just hope to give him the extra time that he needs so that he doesn't have to work as hard just to exist as soon as he comes out.

I am especially thankful for everyone's prayers and thoughts. I obviously don't have anything to do with my symptoms suddenly improving/disappearing and I know many people (even ones we don't know) are keeping us in their prayers and I believe it has helped tremendously so far. I'm also thankful to everyone who has stopped by or sent a note or a treat or flowers... it's especially nice to have those to look at now that my hubby isn't able to stay here 24/7.

We will continue to keep everyone posted as much as possible... I'm hopeful that you won't be hearing any big news for awhile. :)